Of course I’m disappointed, but if it wasn’t me, I’m glad it’s Kaysie because I think she’s awesome.

Honestly, this whole process has been terribly taxing on my soul.  It is so hard to be a Kingdom-minded Christian in a competition like this!!  The whole reason I entered was because the grand prize is $10,000.  Who wouldn’t want to win that!  So, right away, my focus had to be on the prize, because I had to do all sorts of promoting myself, which was totally contrary to my nature.  It began to consume my thoughts, and I got to a point last week where I just couldn’t talk about it anymore.  I couldn’t handle all these conversations being focused on me all the time.  Like I said, taxing.  Every day I’ve been doing my best to surrender this whole process to God.  And at the same time trying to do my best to promote myself, because I want to do excellently in everything I do in order to honour God.  A huge tug-of-war in my mind/heart, I’ll tell you.  Chew on that!  Trying to honour God by doing my best in a competition where I have to completely promote myself all over the place.  Bah!

So here’s my confession.  I’m really very disappointed that I didn’t win.  But I’m more disappointed that I allowed myself to become to distracted and caught up in such a worldly competition.  Not that it wasn’t a good time, and not that I didn’t bring honour to God through the process, but I just don’t think that the wear and tear it had on my spirit was worth it.  As soon as they announced that Kaysie would be continuing, I was so relieved that my first thought was “I’m so glad that my life is all for Jesus and not for money”.  Otherwise this would be killing me right now.  It’s stinging a little bit, for sure.  But it’s definitely brought me back into perspective again, and I’m terribly thankful for that.

This is pretty hard on my pride right now.  A big part of me wishes I hadn’t entered just so I don’t have to go through the humiliation of not winning.  But at the same time, I have made some pretty great connections through this process, and even developed a bit of a fan base which will be great for when my CD comes out (really soon!)  So ultimately, I’m choosing to give thanks for this entire string of events because I know that through all of it, my Father has blessed me.  And I know it’s cheesey, but this is where my heart’s at, I already have the most precious prize of Jesus’ blood shed for me.  And nothing can ever beat that.

Thank you all so much for all the support.  I know that this competition is definitely not the be all end all of my music career, and that things really are just getting started!  And it’s probably a good thing to have my ego deflated every once in a while just to make sure that I continue to keep my focus on what actually matters, which is sharing the love of Christ with everyone I meet.

I won’t lie – this really sucks.  But at least I get to spend the night hanging out with my super-hot husband instead of crouched over a computer trying to decide if I’m feeling convicted about voting for myself!  I’m glad to be done talking about myself all the time.  Seriously, it’s a bit of a relief.  I’ll be very content to be out of the spotlight for a while.

Again though, I can’t even express how awe-struck I am about your support for me.  It’s been unbelievable, and I’m completely amazed by this whole experience.  So, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.  Thank you!

(and I apologize for the terrible sentence structure and grammar here…I’m a little distracted if you couldn’t tell.  ha.)

Once I have found out if I’ve made it, I’ll post in on my facebook page so that y’all can get your voting gloves on!

Wish me luck/blessings!

Also, if you haven’t already “liked” my page on facebook, you can go here and do that!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/Hilary-Branch/147958275229183?ref=ts

BUT!  I’m gonna need some serious help to make it to number one.  Now, I know that most of you have no real reason to invest time in this competition with me other than your love for me and my love for you, so I want you to know how much I really, really appreciate all the love and support you have given me thus far.  Honestly, it’s just blown me out of the water.

Now I’m just asking for a little bit more.  Next Wednesday is the very last voting period for Saint John Idol 2010.  And I would just so appreciate it if you could throw in a few extra votes for me this coming week.  And to get your friends and family to vote for me as well!  Why not make a party out of it!  Put on a movie, order some pizza, and grab your laptops!  I think most of you would admit that it’s actually a little fun to put in all those codes!  And, really, I’m looking out for your hand-eye coordination skills.  Haha.

Tonight I am playing at Magnolia from nine to midnight.  I’m hoping to stop by Night Train at the Arts Centre on the way and play a couple tunes as well.  So if you’re out and about the city looking for something fun to do, come on over and enjoy some entertainment!  And they’ve got pretty good desserts, too.

I hate to sound like a beggar, but I would just simply love to win this competition.  Shawn and I have been planning on going to Cuba forever for our “honeymoon” and this would make it so much more feasible.  Also, I’ve just paid for my first album out of our pocket, and it’s not cheap!  AND, I would love to be able to help put Shawn through his Master’s program at SSU.  So, any time that you could set aside for voting for me in this competition would be SO appreciated.

Trusting in the Lord to bring about His will, and to flood my heart with peace no matter the results.  Amazed at how He’s been working in and through me to bring Glory to His Name even amongst a competition.  In awe and wonder at His power!  Always surrendering.

Hilary

Next week is the very last week of voting.  So help a sister out!   Show me some love!

I’m in the top 4 of Saint John Idol, and so we’re each performing 4 songs.  It’s all very exciting!  Getting down to the end here!  Honestly, I’m still finding this experience quite surreal.  Another bit of surreality – my album is DONE, and the album art is ALMOST done.  I’M SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, it’s way past my bedtime, and it’s going to be a very busy week.  And I don’t have any groceries, and I haven’t been to the gym in three days.  Oh man.  Gotta get my stuff together!

Ok.  Goodnight friends.

Two more songs to come!

Tonight I sung Building a Mystery by Sarah McLaughlin and Hey Ya by Obadiah Parker (or Outkast).  It was freaking sweet.

vote here if you love me!!!  or if you’re bored.  either way.  http://www.thewave.ca/wave/contest/24/